Break the Habit of Negative Self-Talk
Play the “Yes And, Which One” (YAWO) Game
You finally decided! You are going to jump no matter what! You run and are in the air before you know it, there’s no going back now, your body hits the cold water. On your way back to the surface after being fully submerged, your shivering body and chattering teeth confirmed the definite shock to the system. Just as you started to question your decision and return to shore you began to acclimate to the temperature. You smiled and relaxed into your new surroundings. I’m glad I jumped, you thought.
Any time we embark upon a journey to change a habit, it’s a shock to our system. (that’s as sciency as I’ll get in this article, I promise😉). In my experience, one of the toughest habits to break was negative self-talk. The words were so automatic, they would escape my lips before I even realized they were coming. I was desensitized to the sound because I had been hearing it all my life. It was who I was those days.
Every time I’d say something positive or embrace a proud moment, it was like jumping into a cold lake except I never got acclimated so I’d swim back to shore and negate the positives with something negative.
For me to crack the surface of the ice-hearted negative talk, someone outside of my head had to interject. That someone was a friend who loved me enough to challenge my thoughts on the spot. It was brutal some times because my ego and the chemicals in my body fought to hang onto the version of me they’ve known my whole life. (okay, that’s the last bit of science ☺️)
Once my friend entered into my world and started pointing out what I was saying, the negative self-talk started to come into my awareness. I was slowly melting the icy negativity and acclimating to the positivity. I’m grateful to him for being that person in my life. I’m also grateful I was emotionally strong enough to handle his approach! (gotta love the Sagittarius in our lives).
With that in mind, I came up with a way to help break up that ice cold negative talk so you can swim in the warm waters of positivity. It’s called the “Yes And, Which One” Game.
A scenario is the easiest way to explain it:
Characters: Trent and Tammy
Scene: Coffee shop, seated, having a friendly conversation after work
Trent: We had a lot of great wins at work today
Tammy: That’s because you’re an amazing team lead
Trent: Nah, the team just knows what to do and works well together.
Tammy: That could be true… what also could be true is that you’ve done a great job communicating the desired result and properly assigned roles to your team members’ strengths. Which would you like to believe?
Trent: You’re right, I guess I played a role in the wins
Tammy’s “that could be true…what also could be true, which would you like to believe” is the “Yes….And, Which One” Game. This works because you aren’t telling the person they are wrong for saying what they said and you’re giving them something else to consider and inviting then to choose which one they would like to subscribe to.
Prior to that conversation, Trent informed Tammy he was on a mission to stop his negative self-talk habit and she agreed to support by playing the “Yes… And, Which One” Game. Trent as also agreed to help Tammy with hers. It’s a win all the way around.
It may seem like downplaying your wins and accomplishments is being humble but it’s really telling your subconscious mind that you’re not enough. And that becomes like murky lake water in your eyes preventing you from not only seeing your gift but other opportunities that allow you to shine.
If you don’t have anyone in your life who can play that game with you, there is a way to break the habit by yourself. I’ll leave that to another article and hyperlink it here once I’ve written it.
For now, choose a friend, partner, love, who has your best interest at heart and invite them to a duel… okay, not a duel, invite them to help you raise your vibration by letting negativity go using the “Yes….And, Which One” (YAWO) Game.
Have fun! And please let me know how it goes if you choose to play. 😁
