When the fog clears — A Poem
How to survive releasing what no longer serves you
2004…wow…why do I still have this receipt? Decluttering was emotional for me. Receipts, notes saved for when I (fill in the blank), paperwork, old drawings, and more. I’ve held onto so much.
I’ve not done any research, yet, on the correlation between trauma and clutter however, I do believe there is a direct connection. I spent 20+ years in an Abusive Relationship and as I began to heal myself, the fog started to life and the clutter became more visible and less bearable.
As I reflect further on the fog clearing, 5 things stood out to me that I wish I knew ahead of time.
- Recognizing how far you’ve come may not happen right away. You’re still in the thick of things, you’re still healing. There may still be some resentment towards the past version of you. Which leads me to point number 2.
- The past version of you was doing what you could to survive. You only know what you know when you know it. Beating yourself up for decisions made or being victimized works against the healing work you’re doing. That’s like being mad at a child for not knowing how to drive. They aren’t ready… and neither were you.
- This is related to point #1 also…if you’re dismissive of your progress, it means you’re still healing (in my opinion). Allowing others to tell you that you should be proud of yourself and feeling guilty because, while you’re glad you’re not there anymore, you’re still not feeling proud can cause you to doubt that you’re healing at all. You are and you’ll be proud when you’re proud. Or you’ll never be proud. It’s up to you and how things unfold for you. Or you’re proud but you don’t show it the way people expect. Self-acceptance is very important here.
- The actual definition of healing is “the process of making or becoming sound again.” Healing is a process. There may be things that come up that you thought you’ve healed from. Accept rather than judge your progress. Accept that your process is for you. No one can heal you but you.
- Your body knows when you’re ready more than you do. When you are strong enough physically and emotionally, more stuff will come up to be released. Giving yourself grace when you’re triggered is essential. I’ve spent enough time getting mad at being triggered by something. It’s not helpful to you or the people in your life. When you show that you understand this all part of the process, others in your life can relax more and you’re better able to articulate how they can support you if they are open to doing that.
All that from decluttering…as my mind and body cleared, the clutter in other areas of my life began to do the same. It’s a very liberating feeling both physically and emotionally.
I hope this article and poem has given you something to ponder. I hope it has given you some hope. I hope that it helps you recognize that the timing is perfect (even when it doesn’t feel like it).
Please feel free to share your takeaways and experiences for others to learn for their personal journey.
